Shame is a psychological weapon of exclusion It is the subconscious, implied threat of abandonment Shame does not change minds, it coerces false agreement Agree with me or I will not be affectionate with you Agree with me or I will not accept you Agree with me or I will not even acknowledge you exist The shamer emanates this subconscious question to everyone around them: "Is my love important enough for you to pretend to agree with me?" Shame does not build, it breaks apart It creates false agreement and false love It coerces behavior It puts others under the unending daily fear that they may be abandoned at any time It polarizes those who refuse this coercion into anger, argument, escape and exile My heart breaks because of the hurtfulness of my friends, the hurtfulness of my family, the hurtfulness of this world And in this moment I weep for it all How I misunderstood this terribleness A hidden trap door in every loving relationship, leading to a dungeon in which I am to be abandoned, left to hurt and suffer alone, until I am willing to pretend It is all a choice. I reject shame. I condemn the use of shame to coerce others. Shame does not reform Shame does improv Shame is not love
Shame: A Hidden Trap Door
Artwork: "Diabolica", Leilani Bustamante, 2016 (source)