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anger authentic self awakening awe beauty being breakdown breakthrough but-not-through-me choosing coercion complexity consciousness courage create dance darkness deception defiance discernment discomfort dvt existential fear featured featured excerpt fifth-generation warfare force freedom free will funny grief hate helplessness higher self hope house of lies human fallibility hurt imagination imagine intuition journey joy kneeling lessons libido dominandi lies love loving helplessly master liar mastery memory meta-truth mind control monolith my exorcisms my photos mystery my writing no control not-knowing on-towards personal responsibility play poem poetic-memes psychodrama purpose questions repetition resonance science secret-self self loving self shame slavery struggle surrender symbols terrible becoming terror the adversary the dao the feather the shadow totality transcendicant transform trauma trust truth truth-tears tyranny uncertainty violence warrior of light words wordwar3 wrongness