"this is what developmental transformations is: throwing sticks in the river, building castles at the edge of the incoming tide, throwing ourselves out toward the other, and having everything carried away." ~ David Read Johnson
all these crossings, or transactions, between the banks of the river, between myself and the proximal other, which are the actions of our everyday lives, are not intended to intensify the stream but rather to triumph over it, to bridge it, to nullify it, to deny it, to diminish it.
these responses to proximity: withdrawal, freezing, and transaction, are the challenges we face in our work in the playspace, for these are the ways of leaving the playspace.
the playspace is the place where all the possible responses to encounter with the other, all the possible transactions with the world, are thrown into the river, and allowed to sink or float away, rather than thrown at each other.
they reach down, grab a piece of the shore, a rock, a stick.... and throw it into the river, to watch it sink or float down the river
sex and aggression are instincts yes but really they are not desires for desire is of the river, no sexual and aggressive acts are the intolerance of desire, they are the wish to end desire, to reach the other shore and to land, they are bridges and landings and invasions of the other.
in fact the playspace is the river...... the stream that arises from repetition and proximity..... so in the playspace we enact a murder that is not a murder, a touch that is not a touch, a death that is not a death, one can only say that death is moving between us, that hate or love or control or submission is flowing between us ...... all in a lateral movement.
and ironically, we do what every child does when they arrive at the riverbank....
and then they throw another one again.... at the ocean shore where we take stones and throw them in the water or build castles at the edge and watch them be taken.....
"in the end we seek an embodied encounter with the other in which there is equanimity about the turbulence and impermanence of experience in proximity to another, and this is just another way of speaking about presence." ~ David Read Johnson
Being in Proximity to the Other David Read Johnson Apr 17 2004 https://2d452806-f22e-460a-bd3c-544fc604efea.filesusr.com/ugd/242f9d_392d9081f2954edba919f4756f03e215.pdf
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Excerpt (Part 3)
Artwork: Unknown Title, Anna Rémich (source)
DEPARTURES, DAMS, AND TRANSACTIONS if the turbulence that arises when my encounter with the other becomes too intimate, first, let me withdraw, gain distance from this awful proximity i have stumbled into, move away from the other shore till it recedes in the distance, as stream becomes lake becomes sea. let me avert my gaze, let me move to the other side of the room, let me speak of other things, let me speak of things, let me raise problems, let me fall silent, let me turn off the light, let me leave, oh, door, taxi, internet, airplane, the sweetness of departure! or perhaps i am not able to leave, or do not want to leave, but simply want to dam up this rushing stream! yes, to STOP IT! hell, why let it go on! let my body be still, let me break these relentless arms of the clock to let time stand still, so yes let him hold me, kiss me, know me, only my hand or my face or my mind or my vagina will go numb, limp, dead, for Him, because any movement on my part will reveal my choice, my endlessly repeating choice, which is freedom which is difference which is the stream, so i cannot allow this to begin, no let me remain frozen in his sweet embrace, and tell you, each time, of my sorrow. or perhaps a third urge arises, not to depart from or stop the stream, but to cross over to the other shore! to overcome this river which suddenly becomes an obstacle to me, which means to deny the river, in order to TOUCH or rather to HAVE, the other. And so a transaction occurs between us, with grasping and clinging and other forms of possession, with hitting and killing and other forms of aggression and violence, with stimulating and rubbing and other forms of sexual contact, with dominating and controlling and other forms of oppression and submission, with performing and exhibiting and pleasing and cajoling, and with saving, caring and hugging and other forms of nurturing, all these things which we do to and with each other. all these crossings, or transactions, between the banks of the river, between myself and the proximal other, which are the actions of our everyday lives, are not intended to intensify the stream but rather to triumph over it, to bridge it, to nullify it, to deny it, to diminish it. sex and aggression are instincts yes but really they are not desires for desire is of the river, no sexual and aggressive acts are the intolerance of desire, they are the wish to end desire, to reach the other shore and to land, they are bridges and landings and invasions of the other. these responses to proximity: withdrawal, freezing, and transaction, are the challenges we face in our work in the playspace, for these are the ways of leaving the playspace.
Artwork: “Arising”, Gabrielle Tamaya (artist)
THE PLAYSPACE so what indeed do we do down at the riverbank if we are not allowed to withdraw from it, dam it up, or cross to the other shore?..... this is the same question as what is the playspace.....? in the playspace we may portray withdrawal, becoming frozen, and all the transactions of possession, aggression, sexuality, nurturing, that is we enact the very same things that people do, or want to do, or shouldn't do, in normal space-time, so how do these play enactments differ from real transactions? Perhaps real transactions, which go from me to you, or you to me, are different than playspace enactments in that the playspace does not extend from one shore to the other, but moves laterally, along the river.... not from me to you but from upstream to downstream.... in fact the playspace is the river...... the stream that arises from repetition and proximity..... so in the playspace we enact a murder that is not a murder, a touch that is not a touch, a death that is not a death, one can only say that death is moving between us, that hate or love or control or submission is flowing between us ...... all in a lateral movement. the playspace is sideways, and in this sideways can go kissing, and hitting and loving and holding, passing by us through us, as we move closer to each other, the imagination arises out of each act not done, no, turned to the side, this is why real transactions end in consequences and hurt feelings, retributions, and resentments, while playspace enactments dissipate and transform, for they are moving downriver it is this laterality that underlies the three conditions of the playspace, mutuality because it goes between, restraint from harm because it passes by instead of coming toward, discrepancy because the lateral movement separates me from you, discrepancy because of difference itself. the playspace is the place where all the possible responses to encounter with the other, all the possible transactions with the world, are thrown into the river, and allowed to sink or float away, rather than thrown at each other. and ironically, we do what every child does when they arrive at the riverbank.... they reach down, grab a piece of the shore, a rock, a stick.... and throw it into the river, to watch it sink or float down the river and then they throw another one again.... at the ocean shore where we take stones and throw them in the water or build castles at the edge and watch them be taken..... the playspace lies at the edge of the water as shore or self sinks down into the stream.... transitional space.... real space lies away from the water, for protection, we build our real castles away from the risk of flooding, our real world is to be preserved, held onto, as we hold onto our possessions, our children, our spouses, our savings, our careers, ourselves.... in contrast we build sandcastles near the water's edge, on the incoming tide, in order to fight for survival, and in order to lose that fight as sea claims our magnificent accomplishment..... and so in a similar way, we allow our playspace to claim the magnificent accomplishments of the self...... in the work we do we take pieces of ourselves and throw them into the space between us and the client, over and over again, and let them float away, only to look down and find another piece, even shinier or smoother than the previous one, and throw it out, hoping perhaps to delay its demise by skipping it once or twice or many times more. this is what developmental transformations is: throwing sticks in the river, building castles at the edge of the incoming tide, throwing ourselves out toward the other, and having everything carried away.
Artwork: Unknown Title, Anna Levytska (artist)
CONCLUSION so our work appears to be about repetition and proximity, we engage our bodies in an encounter with our clients, we engage in repetitions of bodies and images and personas and movements and ideas, whatever it is, and we progressively move closer into proximal space while at the same time trying not to freeze, flee, or engage in transactions across this uprising stream of difference, of turbulence, of feeling, of life that rises between us. Indeed, these are the ways that the client exits the playspace, and when this occurs, we must back away temporarily, and then make our approach again. in the end we seek an embodied encounter with the other in which there is equanimity about the turbulence and impermanence of experience in proximity to another, and this is just another way of speaking about presence. in the end developmental transformations comes down to this: repetition and proximity, to play at the shore, until it is time to go home and wash off our feet, sit down for dinner, tidy our rooms, and go to bed after saying our prayers, and so on, over and over again, as each departure becomes a return; the hand that tucked me into bed lives in my hand, as I put adam to sleep, again and again, and the sun sets, and then rises again, it moves away, and comes back to us, day after day, again and again, being the earth's eternal attempt to free itself from the sun, foiled again, and that is time and that is our life, and it is both fact and illusion, in the end there is only repetition and proximity, that is, time and space, all the rest seems to follow on from there.
